Can You See Why I Prefer TV Shows?

Double post today, woohoo! I wasn't going to do the Worst Movies Ever Blogfest (run by Alex J Cavanaugh) because I didn't even hear about it until this morning, and I felt like it was cheating to enter so late. However, after reading other people's entries and seeing how fun it is, I caved. Here's the description from Alex's blog:

Today, post a list of up to ten of the worst movies you’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. Films that just oozed awfulness and featured plot holes so big you could drive a bus through them. Any genre or year, but only theater and straight to video/DVD titles. (We already know SyFy Channel movies suck!) Sign up, grab the button, and give us the worst! And be sure to visit others participating in the blogfest!

Let me just start by saying this: I'm notorious for turning down movies in favor of doing something else. I used to be really into movies, but now I just see them as a waste of two hours. I usually don't have the patience to get through an entire movie without multitasking, and I'm often disappointed by movies everyone else raves about, so I just don't bother. That being said, there are a lot of movies I enjoy, but there are just as many that I don't.

I don't think I want to torture you with a list of ten awful movies. Plus, I don't think I want to sit here and think of ten awful movies. I'll just give you a couple of the worst ones I've seen and we'll call it good, ok?

This movie was the second one that made me want to get out of my seat and leave the theater (see below for the first). I'm a HUGE fan of the original Avatar (the cartoon one from Nickelodeon), and after devouring the series I was excited for the movie. It. Was. Awful.

First of all, for a movie that's being adapted from a TV SHOW, there were a lot of mispronunciations. One of my biggest pet peeves is incorrect pronunciation; it starts to sound like nails on a chalkboard, and it literally makes me cringe. Imagine my horror at sitting through 2 hours of that. Seriously, M Night Shyamalan, you couldn't watch the original show and learn how to pronounce the names?

On top of that, the bending was sooooo slow. I know they were trying to show all these beautiful Tai Chi moves, but in the cartoon (and in life, if this sort of thing were actually possible), the bending was fast. I mean, it's supposed to be a self-defense or attack mechanism. It should be fast, right? In the time it took them to do one move (in the film), someone could have snuck in with a knife and finished them off. Ugh. Moving on...

The Human Centipede

Yeah, I can't even put the picture up for this one without getting the heebie-jeebies. My friends decided it would be a good idea to watch it after seeing the South Park spoof. Oh, they were so very wrong. I don't enjoy horror movies. I'm a big chicken, and totally not afraid to admit it, so the idea of watching a movie with a crazy German doctor who wants to sew three people together mouth to bum to form a human centipede? Pass. But I was at their house, and I wasn't going to go sit in another room while they watched it, so I suffered through it. Mistake.

I was traumatized for a week. It was soooo gross! Not only was it disgusting, but it was a terrible movie in general. The plot was awful, and they made the main characters these ditzy college girls. I'm sorry, but no girl, not even the dumbest blonde on the planet, would have made the same stupid decisions they made in that movie. Seriously. Whoever came up with the idea for that movie needs to be banned from ever making another one. Ick.

I just watched this one recently, and did not enjoy anything about it. To sum up the premise, three friends go on vacation for the weekend. They find a deserted island, with a girl stranded on it. They stop to rescue the girl. She's actually a siren who's trying to kill them all. It had the potential to be ok, but it was really just dumb. I didn't like anything about it, and the horrible high-pitched-squealing-that's-meant-to-be-a-siren-call? All it did was hurt my ears and send my poor puppy into a frenzy. Don't even waste your time with this one.

I have enough material for an entire post on what I hate about Eragon (both the book series and the movie). This was the first movie I've ever left in the middle of and demanded a refund. It was terrible, but I'll spare you my angst.

Don't waste your time with ANY of these movies. Do something more productive with the two hours, like...writing a novel. :P

J