Thursday, September 22, 2011

Deadly Imago

It's that time again! The second challenge for Rach's Third Writer's Campaign. The idea this time was to craft a post (it didn't have to be flash fiction this time, but that's what I did) that's 200 words long. It needed to have "imago" in the title, and contain "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," and "synchronicity" in the post. If we wanted an extra challenge (which I always do), we could include mention of a mirror and make it 200 words exactly. I'm proud to say that I did all of it!

Here's my flash piece, entitled "Deadly Imago."

The pond was hidden, buried deep within a forest that only the brave or foolish dared enter. Its surface was eternally undisturbed, shining with an ethereal silver glow. Jewel-bright flowers dotted the surface, leaves held aloft by air-filled lacunae. The locals called it the Mirror.
                Azalea had been searching for it for weeks. By the time she finally stumbled upon its location, she was on the verge of collapse. The sight of the elusive pond rejuvenated her, pulling her toward its edge with an unexplainable magnetism. Tiny pink flowers, her namesake, bloomed beneath her feet with each step; she hardly noticed.
                At the Mirror’s edge, Azalea stroked the petals of a sapphire blossom. She was mesmerized by its beauty, unaware that these particular blooms exuded an imperceptible miasma with each photosynthetic cycle. She lifted the flower to her face and inhaled deeply.
                Almost immediately, she was overcome with the urge to oscitate. Her exhaustion, it seemed, had caught up to her. She lay down, head pillowed on the grass, and her heart ceased to beat. The path of pink azaleas she’d left in her wake began to wither. There was no one, save the Mirror, to witness the perfect synchronicity.


I actually had a lot of fun with this one. It seemed difficult at first, but I found a lot of inspiration while looking up the meanings of the words. If you like it, I hope you'll swing by and "Like" my entry. I'm #51 on the list (which is weird, because this is my 51st post...). :)

J

51 comments:

  1. Oh that is EXCELLENT. One of my favorites so far. Love the imagery.

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  2. Hey,(Florida for "hi")someone died in yours too! I didn't read any before I wrote mine so as not to be influenced, but no wonder with words like miasma and oscitate. This is very good. I can't say yet whether I like it best, because I'm going backwards down the list. But I like it a lot because of the mental picture and the mood.

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  3. Well done. I had trouble wit this one. Mine is #29

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  4. I love the last line here. Very beautiful!
    Mine is #3.

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  5. Bravo! It's really beautiful, J. Nice work!

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  6. This challenge was really hard! You did such a nice job. Your flas fiction is descriptive, moves forward and leaves me wanting to read more. Great job.

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  7. i liked that desperate fantasy scene!
    the words seem to fit best in that genre =)

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  8. Enchanting story! Definitely a "like" for me!

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  9. I enjoyed this. I'm struggling with mine, and it's made harder by reading wonderful entries like this :-)

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  10. I really liked this piece. None of it feels forced and the words work beautifully together. The picture you paint is vivid.
    Beautiful.

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  11. Loved it J! What amazing visuals. It had an Avatar feel to it for me. Great job :)

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  12. Lovely imagery leading us to a superbly cruel ending.

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  13. This is absolutely beautiful. Your ability to weave the words into your narration without them seeming out-of-place really blew me away! The beautiful image I'm stuck with after Azalea's death is breath-taking. Wonderful story!

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  14. Ooh, creepy AND beautiful. I love when that happens :) Great job!

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  15. Amazing imagery! Enchanting. Great job! :)

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  16. This had lovely imagery. I felt like I was there walking with Azalea. Very nice job!

    The Write Soil

    Mine's #50

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  17. I love this. Especially the flowers blooming under her feet. Great imagery!

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  18. "Tiny pink flowers, her namesake, bloomed beneath her feet with each step"

    Absolutely loved this line. What a beautiful image it paints!

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  19. Excellent post. I loved your beautiful prose. I so enjoyed the story. Wonderful, just wonderful. Wow! Check out #76. You have the gift of words.

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  20. Hi,

    Very descriptive and atmospheric! Nicely pieced together. ;)

    best
    F

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  21. I love this one! Very beautiful descriptions, the pond pulling her with unexplainable magnetism. Beautiful!

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  22. Your description was enchanting! This is one of my favorites of the challenge! ~ Nadja

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  23. Very nice--you create a wonderful sense of place. And speaking of synchronicity, how cool is it that you're #51 AND this is your fifty-first post?

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  24. Very beautiful! Wanted to read more! ; )

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  25. Love the use of the words, I never looked at anyones before I did mine, and this is going out of my comfort zone. Amazing what we come up with isn't it?

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  26. You incorporated the words very naturally, which to me has been one of the greatest challenges of #2! Some enchanting description. Lovely!

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  27. Beautiful imagery, and I feel bad for the MC. Great job. :)

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  28. J, very evocative, the words blended perfectly! I especially like how you used lacunae. Well done! I'm #34.

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  29. Nice! Very atmospheric. I felt like I was there!

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  30. The magic of #51! I love all the tiny details in your story. You did a great job of weaving the words in where I didn't even notice them. :)

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  31. That was beautifully written. You made it seem effortless. Such gorgeous imagery. Good job!

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  32. I loved the ethereal feel. I was lost in a haze watching this in my head :D

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  33. Gorgeous setting! Loved the way you weaved those words together. It definitely rings of fantasy. My cup of tea. Consider this a favorite.

    Great job, J! :)

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  34. Great visuals! Your description was very good.

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  35. Oh my gosh I love it!! It was very good! I voted for you and I'm a new follower, too!

    (I'm entry #113)

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  36. This is awesome J! Definitely worth liking :)

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  37. I love your description of the strange flowers! Nice mood. I'm over from the campaign, #142 in the lineup. Glad I stopped by.

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  38. You take away her own magic very nicely with that of the sapphire flowers. Poor Azalea!

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  39. Oh, I'm voting for this one! You have such lovely imagery, and the ending is so sad... I love how you used the mirror reference :)

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  40. Beautiful writing, I really enjoyed this. Great use of the words and a complete little story. No wonder you have so many votes. Adding mine :)

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  41. This was so beautifully done, I had to read it a second time. Loved your imagery and your use of the words seemed effortless. So sad, but yet, so good!

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  42. It's difficult to incorporate the required words and keep the flow of the story. You do this really well. Congrats!

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  43. Um, have I really not commented on this yet? Shame on me.
    It is beautiful, and you did a stellar job. :)

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  44. I love the setting ! Your writing flows so naturally ... this is a great piece ! Well done !
    My entry at no.#185

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  45. Excellent usage of words, fantasy with the flowers and science, entwined to tell a great story. Good writing skills, very good story!

    I didn't read any of the stories before I wrote my poem.....and I am absolutely blown away, talent is rampant. How fun it is to read all the good stories and poems.

    #188

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  46. I didn't vote for you this time, but it wasn't because I didn't like your piece. I was just so busy with moving that I only read about 3 of these, so I didn't feel like it was really fair to go vote for, basically, the only one I read.

    I do like your piece, though.

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  47. Such a beautiful and haunting piece. You used the words very well. Great job!

    #189

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Now that you took the time to read my message, let's see what you have to say! Unless it's mean...then you can just keep it to yourself. :)